Religion. People can become very emotional when it comes to religion. Religion is something that defines people and their outlook on life. For some religion is their lifeline. So, it is understandable that most people expose their children to their religion at an early age. Folks bring crying ass babies to 4 hour long sermons. I shudder at the thought. Black people in particular have a deep relationship with God and religion because of our emotional, turbulent, dramatic past as a race.
In my case, my Mother took a more laid back approach to religion. She allowed me to have a choice in my direction of religion. She never once forced me to go to church. In fact, I was not even baptized until I was about 12 years old. She explained that she did not baptize me when I was a baby because she wanted it to be my choice. She took this approach because she felt as though my Grandmother forced religion on her, with her and her sister and brother going to church sometimes 3 to 4 times a week, going to morning and evening service. She never wanted to do that to me.
My Grandmother took a more dominant approach to religion with me. Because my Grandmother lived in the same apartment complex with my Mother and I, every Sunday she would MAKE me go to church. The same as she did my Mother. Now, this aggressive approach to religion pushed my mother away. However, it had the opposite effect on me. Sure there were times when I did not feel like going to church, would have rather slept in, and my Grandmother would still instruct me to hurry up and get dressed. In her heart and mind she felt I NEEDED religion and that it should not be a choice left up to me. It was a necessity. I respect both my Mother and my Grandmother’s approach to religion with me. I appreciate my Mother for respecting me enough to leave the decision to me. However, I have unwavering gratitude to my Grandmother for installing something in me that I personally could not go without. For my Mother, the aggressive approach to religion pushed her away from religion. Not completely but it made her distance herself from the idea of ritualistic church.
When I have a child, I think that I would combine the approach of both my Mother and Grandmother. Expose my children to religion but not in a forceful manner. Allow them to make the final decision of building their own personal relationship with God. Besides, they will be adults in the future, and the choice of who they worship and if they worship at all, will ultimately be theirs.
Should you force religion on your children? Can forcing a child into religion push them away from religion? Does it matter if your child chooses a different religion from you? What is your child is old enough to have an opinion and has absolutely no interest in religion?
If your child is not naturally cautious or shy or conservative, he will just stop going to church once he grows up. Nothing wrong with taking a kid to church, but whether it means anything to him will depend on who he is, rather than how hard you push it on him.
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