When is it time to say goodbye? When you are in a difficult or strained romantic relationship then people will tell you to leave. They will tell you things like “Don’t stay with that person”, “You deserve better” and so on”. It always seem so easy right? What about if the person who is abusing you is not a friend or a romantic partner but a family member? Not always as easy to rid them from your life. Take Keyshia Cole for example. She emerged from a truly hard life where her Mother was on drugs and had kids spread out in different homes. Kids who each grew up to have their own issues and problems partially because of their broken relationship with their mother.
Years later and Keyshia’s lifestyle has changed and improved drastically. She has also grew as a person and developed in ways that she probably never imagined. So is it now time to let the family members who are not sharing in any type of growth go? What if they are dragging you down emotionally? What if they are placing strain on you mentally with unnecessary drama. This is the dilemma that Keyshia Cole is facing.
She reached back for her family and attempted to bring them with her. For a while it seemed as if they were on the path of inner growth as well. Then somehow, it got halted and the drama ensued. Issues have reemerged and Keyshia’s family have beef with her and feel that she has moved on and disowned them in some way. Allegations of her not giving her nieces and nephews Christmas presents have emerged. It seemed that she was starting to pull away from her family. With the recent letter she wrote about them, it looks like that might be the case. Keyshia seems to think that her family is a strain on her emotionally and while currently pregnant she does not want to inflict that strain on her unborn child.
Is it ever okay to distance yourself from your family? Should you just ride it out to the end? After all, blood is thicker than water. I agree with Keyshia’s decision to distance herself. She has to put herself and child first at this point in her life and I respect that decision. This child will now come before all others in her life and that is the way it should be. Also, sometimes you outgrow people. Now that does not mean that you necessarily should dismiss them from your life completely but I see nothing wrong with distancing yourself from people who bring strain into your life. Family or not. I have even had to make that necessary step for certain family members. So, hell yeah, I salute Keyshia for her strength in relinquishing herself from the role of super save a chick. She has assisted in opening doors to build them up financially and so on. However, any other inner growth has to come from that person. They have to want to do better. That person has to want to grow. It seems as if some of the members of Keyshia’s family are not yet on that path. Keyshia deserves to focus on herself and her child at this point in her life without being attacked by her unappreciative family. Perhaps in the near future they will all come full circle.
Peep Keyshia’s Letter:
“To all my friends and fans,
It’s time that I clear the air. It’s not a secret that I haven’t been in contact with my mother Frankie, and my sisters Neffe and Elite and I never wanted to air out our differences to the public. While I won’t go into detail here I find it necessary to let you guys know I decided to stop communication with them because I was at a point in my life where I needed serenity and peace to move forward. Please know I love my family very much but it was time to let it go. You guys are a witness to a lot of what was happening from watching on air and online. Now that I am becoming a mom my passion for having a loving and peaceful home for my child is my #1 priority. It’s very important to both Daniel and I. My plate is very full; I have a new baby coming, we are planning our wedding and I am working in the studio on a new album that I am close to completing. The stress that my family is giving me with their constant false reports is not healthy and it’s not what I need at this time in my life. Please understand that there are only a few people that can officially confirm or deny anything that’s happening in my life and that’s me, Daniel, and my publicist, Tresa Sanders. And my girl Monica never lies.”
Love Your Girl,
KC
First, I give Keyshia a lot of credit for rising above her childhood pain and becoming successful. A lot of people remain victims trapped in that broken-family cycle and perpetuate the pain in their own lives and of those around them by blaming the past for their inability to move on. Not only has Keyshia broken out of that cycle, but she had enough love in her heart to turn back and try to help her family, which is what I feel true love does. I think that is truly a sign of inner strenght, faith and compassion. I do not criticize her for second for wanting to create distance between herself and her family now if she feels she has done all that she can. Her mother and sister are grown women who are more than able to create their own loves. Keyshia is young, beautiful, and has worked hard to get to where she is now. I think she deserves to be in the mental, physical and spiritual place that she desires to create for herself,and if that means away from the drama of her family, then so be it. I wish her much love and continued growth and prosperity. And I even wish the same for her mother and sister. I believe, too, that when they are ready to grow-- they will. I am sure Keyshia will always welcome them into her life; she will just ask them to leave the drama at the front door. That's not being mean or insensitive-- it's being responsible for one's own well being.
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